From the Inside

“…When someone is very excited about the stained glass windows that Marc Chagall made for the synagogue of the Hadassah-Hebrew University Medical Center in Jerusalem, the only way to convince friends of their beauty is by bringing them into the synagogue.

This idea stayed with me the whole day because it convinced me more than ever of the importance of teaching spirituality from the inside. Next semester I will be fully occupied again with teaching. My task is not to make beautiful windows but to lead students into the synagogue where they can see the splendid colors when the sunlight shines through them. As long as student say that they are interested in spirituality but prefer to remain on the outside, no argument, enthusiastic description, or rich vocabulary will make them see what I see. Only by entering with me into the experience with which spirituality deals will any real learning take place. That does not mean that critical distance is not available and that subjectivity becomes the only criterion. On the contrary. Even from the inside we can step back and remain critical. Not everything we see from the inside is necessarily beautiful, worthwhile, or good. In fact, we are better able to make distinctions between bad and good, ugly and beautiful, appropriate and unfit from the inside than from the outside.

Does that mean that the only way to talk about prayer is by praying together? I don’t think so. You don’t have to be a Jew in order to be able to enjoy or appreciate the windows of Chagall, although as a Jew you will have a deeper understanding of their beauty than will someone whom the Jewish religious tradition is unknown. But you have to enter into the world of the Jew, the synagogue, to enjoy its stained glass windows at all. In order to understand the meaning of prayer you have to be willing to enter into the world of praying men and women and discover the power and beauty of prayer from within. All this leads to the important question: How to introduce strangers into the world of prayer without forcing them into a kind of behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable?

Sometimes I am so excited about my new experiences here at the Abbey that I can hardly believe it when someone else does not share this excitement. But then, I have forgotten that I am shouting from the inside and that my shoulder-shrugging friends are looking at the same thing from the outside and wonder why I ‘exaggerate’ all the time.

There is no doubt in my mind that it is worth my time and energy to lead my friends first to the inside of the building before I start tying to convince them of the beauty of the stained glass windows. Otherwise, I shall make a fool of myself by impatience and lack of ordinary educational insight.”
~From The Genesee Diary by Henri Nouwen

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