Where Else?

“...most of us pursue the successful life with a kind of ‘quiet desperation’... A comfortable life, kept well under control, can delay that moment of hard grace. After all, who wants pain? Moreover, what’s wrong with a nice life? Well, nothing, as long as you don’t pursue it at any cost. Nothing, as long as you don’t try to preserve it by eliminating human beings. Nothing, as long as it remains within the limits of what is simple, reasonable, and appropriate to the dignity of the human person. But be forewarned that a lifetime spent avoiding unpleasantness can deform us badly without our even knowing it. Unsuspecting, we can become incapable of sacrifice, and worse, incapable of hearing the truth.

...I would maintain that the truth sets us free when we become willing to be poor to the core of our being. When we can look into the darkness, trusting that Jesus dwells there already, believing that there in the very centre of our fears, is not nothingness, but Love Himself, waiting for us to meet Him. To meet Him there. There in the absolute poverty of our human condition. Until then, until we begin to really learn to trust God, we will either continue to choose various means of escape, or we will slide slowly into a habit of bitterness. Either we begin to accept the innate poverty of the human condition, or we eventually fall victim to a spirit of rage and rebellion. If we refuse to learn this absolutely essential lesson, then quiet desperation can gradually become despair.

Trust is a choice. We cannot always help our feelings. But our will is our own. In exhaustion, desolation, darkness, sickness, and doubts, we can choose to flee into the Lord’s own arms. We must pray—and we must make a conscious decision to pray—especially in those times when we least feel like praying. We can make mental acts of trust in divine providence, especially when our surroundings are a disaster zone. When temptation pounds away at our hearts, we can run to the Lord in the Sacraments, hide ourselves in His Sacred Heart, cry out to Him from beneath the cross. We will find that He always supplies the graces necessary to bearing our crosses. Step by step, little by little, we learn that God is infinitely patient—and generous—with those who sincerely seek Him. The fight against fear may even be a life-long effort, but still we mustn’t be unduly fearful. Where else but in fearful situations will we learn courage? Where else but in disaster zones will we learn to trust absolutely?”
~Michael O’Brien

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