Why Is My Head So Full of Things?
Another of the beautiful cool days we have been having all year. We did not work this afternoon. Plenty of time to pray. Recollected, I am myself for a while, and I consider the weekdays when I am full of business and when I am not myself or my own. Why must I make my head so full of things?
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I am tired of being my own Providence, of wanting and seeking things for myself, of making decisions for myself, and yet, quite apart from my own will, I am in this complex of things that seem to stand between me and God.
All I want, Jesus, is more and more to abandon everything to You. The more I go on, the more I realize I don’t know where I am going. Lead me and take complete control of me.
“Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my God” (Psalm 142).
~Thomas Merton (Journals, June 24, 1947, II.86–87)
...
I am tired of being my own Providence, of wanting and seeking things for myself, of making decisions for myself, and yet, quite apart from my own will, I am in this complex of things that seem to stand between me and God.
All I want, Jesus, is more and more to abandon everything to You. The more I go on, the more I realize I don’t know where I am going. Lead me and take complete control of me.
“Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my God” (Psalm 142).
~Thomas Merton (Journals, June 24, 1947, II.86–87)
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